A Monster Of The Grisliest Kind


 
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Dear Alice, does anyone even remember this site? Sad Love, Joan

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 In the mall

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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:56 pm

After a bit of searching, Laura found the mythology section. She started looking through the books. 'Hey, Luna.' 'Yeah?' 'Think we can get a mythological creatures book?' 'Seriously? We already know that they're real.' 'But... I wanna see how accurate it is.' 'Fine.'

Laura looked for a book that caught her eye, and found one called "The Ultimate Book of Mythology" and flipped straight to the Werewolf section.

'Werewolves are humans who have been cursed to transform into wolves or into a wolf-like form under the light of the full moon.' 'WRONG.' 'Poor humans. They think they know what we do and how we act, but, alas, they are mistaken.'


Last edited by Laura Baines on Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:11 am; edited 1 time in total
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:05 pm

"Hey, a vampire romance novel," Jasper got the book off the shelf and began reading, "And then his sultry voice called out to her across the room-"

He burst out laughing, "Oh God, this is so bad."

"Let me see," Alice demanded as she stole the book from Jasper and read to herself, then began giggling hysterically. "Oh damn, this is so off base."

"I know, right?" Jasper laughed with Alice. Soprano and bass, their laughter filled their small section of the bookstore, causing the patrons to stare.

"Calm down, Al," Jasper sent them both calming vibes, though Alice continued her giggles.
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:24 pm

"What the hell?" Laura heard laughter coming from a different section. She decided to find the source, her book still in hand.

'There's that feeling again...' 'The one that was with Jasper and Alice?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, anyone want to find out what's so funny?' 'Sure.'

Laura began to search for the laughter, drawing closer to the source when suddenly, it stopped. 'Crapp.... We were so close too!' 'Well, we can always ask Alice what it was.' 'That's great, but where is she?' Laura rounded the corner and saw Alice giggling and Jasper holding a cheesy romance novel. "Ok, Jasper's holding a romance novel. I've known you for all of ten minutes and I know this isn't right."
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:48 am

"You're right," Alice slowly stopped laughing, "Jasper decided to get in touch with his feminine side."

"As if," Jasper chuckled as he put the book back, "It just caught my attention. Sorry for disturbing you."

'Oh my God, that was so bad!' Alice mentally laughed. 'But I wanna read more of it, just for kicks.'

'Damn, that was so cheesy,' Jasper thought, a bit offended by it.

"Look, Jazz, it's part of a series!" Alice pointed out. "Let's get them."

"Sure," he replied, secretly wanting to know the plot. If it had one.
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:38 pm

"What's it about? Maybe I've read one of them." Laura asked. "If it's as funny as you make it out to be, then I might like it. It might even appeal to a couple of those guys, you know?"

'What? I can't stand romance novels!' 'But if it's funny, then you could like it. You like comedy, right?' 'Not ROMANTIC comedy!' 'Just give it a chance, Logan. You never know what you'd like until you try.'
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:40 pm

Alice plucked the book off the shelf and skimmed the back off it, "It's one of those 'you make up the character's names and appearances' books. Huh, this could be fun!"

"I'll just go buy it before you decide to write all over this thing," Jasper rolled his eyes and began walking over to the register.

"Forgetting something?" Alice smiled as she tossed the book to him, who smiled sheepishly and continued on his merry way. She picked up another copy of the book, opened to a random page, and read dramatically, filling in the blanks:

"Jasper sighed. He longed to go to Alice, to comfort her, to caress her, but he could not, and so he remained outside, just below her window, watching and listening. He thought of her silky dark brown hair and dancing black eyes. His mouth filled with the bittersweet taste of longing. The first flush of dawn chased him away, but before he left, he thrust a note beneath her window sash.

I have watched from the shadows;
you are brighter than sunlight.

It might have been more poetic than literal, but he meant it truly; hers was a warmth that would not burn him to ash – though it did seem to have seared its way into his heart."

Alice relapsed into her giggles, "God, can you get any cheesier?"

Jasper returned with the book, chuckling at Alice's theatrics, "Having fun, Al?"

"Lots," she answered.
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:52 pm

"Ok, I need to get that book. How much?" Laura looked at the price of the book she had in her hands. "Cause after this one, I'm gonna have like... $15 because someone wanted a pair of shoes."

'Like I said, that was a cute pair of shoes!' 'That cost me 36 bucks.' 'We already went over this. You can't do anything about it now!' 'I can return them.' 'NOOOOOOO!!!!' 'Kidding... I needed some new ones anyway.' 'Then why did you get mad at me when I bought them?' 'Because they were expensive!'
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:08 pm

Jasper checked the price on the back of the book, "Five dollars, excluding tax."

"It'd cost more if A.) it wasn't so cheesy, and b.) they filled in the blanks for you," Alice remarked. "The cheesiness will fry our brains, but it'll be so much fun!"

"Mhm," Jasper agreed absentmindedly, flipping through the book. "Reading mindless garbage with no plot is always at the top of my priorities."

"There's a plot," Alice defended the novel. "The plot is clearly about...um...vampires taking over a college, but a human finds out and she gets bitten."

He shook his head, "That sounds like every other badly written vampire book out there. Does it give you any license other than you get to write names and appearances?"

"Doesn't look like it, I could write better stuff like this while drunk," Alice scoffed.

"If you could get drunk," Jasper joked. "Carlisle would kill you if you ever got drunk."
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:15 pm

"I think it's badly written because people don't do enough research into the history of vampire stories. If they had any sense of truth, to use the term loosely, then they would know that vampires want to eat people. And not in the sexy way."

'Wow... that was... vaguely smart, Laura.' 'Oh shut up.' 'You know what I mean!' 'Whatever.'
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:21 pm

Alice and Jasper exchanged a quick look, somewhat saddened by the vampire stereotype.

'You see, this is why we don't hang with humans,' Jasper thought. 'Just don't defend us, Al. You'll get more suspicion.'

Alice held her tongue, trying not to defend vampires to Laura. 'Just act human, and she won't catch on.'

"I totally agree," Alice managed a smile, "If these people were any kind of writers, they would research and write horror books, not romance novels."

"It's sickening how some people take something dark and twisted, and make it sexy," Jasper agreed. "Vampires are to be feared, not fantasized about."
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:31 pm

"Something wrong?" 'I think they like vampires.' 'Oh, crap... change the subject, change the subject!'

"So! Do you like mythical creatures? Like vampires, zombies, elves, etc.?"
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:38 pm

Jasper squeezed Alice's hand gently, warning her nonverbally.

"Yeah, we're kind of vampire people," Alice smiled sheepishly. "Can't get enough of them, you know?"

"Sometimes I wonder if you aren't one, the hickeys you give me," Jasper muttered, loud enough for both girls to hear.

"Hey!" Alice smacked him. "I'm sure Laura doesn't want to hear any of that."

"Sorry," he apologized, grimacing a bit as he gently rubbed the area on his arm where Alice had smacked him. "Just had to."

"As long as you don't do it anymore....whenever Rosalie and Emmett aren't around," she grinned, then turned to Laura, "What about yourself? Werewolves, witches, fairies, what are you into?"
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:13 pm

"Werewolves. Call me crazy, but I like studying the Lycanthropy cases of the late 1800s. Kinda born and raised on wolves, you know?" Laura smiled, pleased with her rationalization for why she likes Werewolves.

'I'd applaud that wonderful line, but I don't have hands right now.' 'Hey, it's true and you know it! Those things are funny!'
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:20 pm

"That's cool," Alice said, feigning interest in her mortal enemies.

"The Lycanthropy cases? They're wonderful," Jasper smiled, knowing to what Laura was referring to.

'Ugh, Smart Jasper again,' Alice rolled her eyes, then started feeling a desperate need to shop, just to annoy him.

"Maybe we could discuss it over shopping?" Jasper smiled, feeling Alice's feelings influence his thoughts. 'I'm going to kill Alice for this.'
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:26 pm

"If you don't like werewolves, that's fine. It's similar to liking a different football team. You aren't any less of a friend because you don't like werewolves. And about the shopping thing, why not?"
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:30 pm

"It's not that we dislike werewolves, we're just...afraid of them," Alice tried explaining without really explaining.

Jasper's eyes lit up, "Really?! You'll go shopping with us?"

"Calm down, Jazzles," Alice said, now feeling calmer and not so desperate to shop.
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:46 pm

Laura laughed. "Oh boy... You guys are weird... Then again, I'm one to talk, eh?"

'Something is definitely NOT right about them.' 'I know... but it seems that asking 'Hey, are you by any chance, not human?' might hint at something about us.' 'Vampires?' 'Now that you mention it...'
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:50 pm

"Haha, that's us, alright," Alice smiled. "Are you ready to check out?"

Jasper internally frowned. He could definitely feel suspicion coming from Laura, but he had no idea why. Surely they were acting human enough?
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:58 pm

"Yeah, although I'm outta money after that." Laura paused. "What do you mean, 'fear werewolves.'? Are they real or something?"
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Alice Cullen
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:01 pm

"No, we're just paranoid," Jasper lied smoothly, not giving Alice a chance to speak for fear she would say something she would regret. "We watch too many horror movies, you know?"

"Right," Alice nodded.
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:37 pm

"Which is why I don't like horror movies." "Ok. Enough of the pussy footing around. Are you vampires?" Logan took control for a split second. "Oh. My. God..... I am SOOOOO sorry, guys! Logan just took over and she can be very forward in the ways that she speaks!" "Hey, don't put me on the spot! You were thinking the same thing too! All of us were!" "Wha-! That's ridiculous! Why would I accuse friends of being something they clearly aren't?" "Clearly? There is clearly something wrong with them! We don't just feel things because nothing is wrong!"

Laura was silenced for a bit. "If you'll excuse me." Was all she said before turning to walk away.
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:40 pm

Alice blinked, unsure of how to react. "Vampires? Us? What makes you think that?"

Jasper glanced nervously at Alice, wondering how the hell Laura found out so quickly, "Yeah, what makes you think we're vamps?"

"Don't go!" Alice said as she grabbed Laura's hand to stop her. "We wanna know why you think that. Believe me, this hasn't been the first time we've been accused of being vamps."
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:33 pm

'Cold.' 'Yeah. I felt it when she grabbed my hand the first time, but thought nothing of it. Now...' 'You've realized how cold she actually is?' 'Yep... But that's not standard issue for movie vampires, right? But.... what could I say that is normal for humans, yet for vampires as well....?'

"Uhh...." Laura pulled her hand away from Alice's grip. "You two have a very pale complexion, you know? Typical of vampires, but that's a very BAD reason to accuse you of something that doesn't exist, right?" 'I'm digging a hole for myself, aren't I?' 'Yep.'
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:42 pm

"We're allergic to sunlight," Alice shrugged. "We never go out into the sun."

"It's how we met," Jasper grinned, "At a support group for people with photosensitivity."

"Best day ever," she smiled at him, then smiled at Laura, "Is that your only evidence? It would hardly stand in a court of law."

"Alice, don't let your lawyer training scare people," Jasper chided gently.
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Laura Baines
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PostSubject: Re: In the mall   Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:58 pm

(Oh wow.... you totally set me up for a Phoenix Wright joke!)

"I know. Sorry about that. And I'm sure Logan is too. She jumps the gun a bit, you know?" "OBJECTION!" Logan popped out once more and pointed a finger at Alice. "Then what explains the fact that you are freezing? Or Jasper suddenly wanting to shop? Or when you were jumping around, you suddenly stopped? ANSWER ME THIS!"
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