Divorcing Jasper

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:58 pm

"Just stay here and don't look," Chase said gently to Joan, who nodded mutely. He stood up and walked back over to the vampires, kicking Garrett in the face, saying, "Shut up. They all know they've lost. Why can't you accept defeat?"

'They're dying. Slowly. Painfully. Like they deserve. Like they should.'

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:01 pm

"Ouch! You bastard! I'd rather have the other kill me, he's not a sniveling boy," Garrett growled.

"Shut up, Garrett, it's over, we're over," Edward said calmly. "Before we die, Joan, Alice wants to restate her love for you, and how you're one of the best friends she's ever had, and she's upset that you won't tell her why you betrayed her. Bye, Joan. It was nice knowing you."

Jasper said nothing, staring down at Alice's still face, thinking about death, blocking out the pain in his legs. "I'll see you in Hell," he told Chase. "We all will, and then we'll give you a pointy reckoning that will make you shudder."

Guest

Neither Chase nor Joan had been answering their phones. This had caused Adam to worry his head off. 'Like they were my own kids...' He thought as he leaned back in the seat of Jacob's pickup truck.

The werewolves were very open and welcoming to the hunters, and very eager to join in their ambush against the Cullens. The leader, Sam, was level-headed, if not a bit stoic. But he was negotiable nonetheless.

However, if Joan hadn't been with him, there would have been no communication, no agreements or plans made. She clearly knew them all well enough and knew exactly how to convince them to join in the fray (although to be fair, it didn't take much).

So when he had tried to figure out where Joan had went off and why she wasn't back from her 'walk', Jacob offered to help find them. He was a sweet kid, definitely looked out for Joan and everyone in his pack.

'Should've been the leader,' Adam mused, 'But hey, it's not in my right to tell them how to operate.' He leaned against the window, looking out at the city lights that filtered through. 'Port Angeles... Now where could they-'

"There they are!" Jacob exclaimed, somewhat shocked as he pulled up to the curb and got out almost immediately. Adam followed as quickly as he could. They made their way to the mouth of alley where they found Chase towering over four of the vampires, who were writhing in pain. Joan was against the wall, sobbing.

Jacob went towards Joan as Adam went to Chase, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him towards him, asking, "What the HELL do you think you're doing?! Jeopardizing the mission already? Jesus, can't you ever do what you're told?"

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:25 pm

"What I'm TOLD?" Chase bit back fiercely, yanking his arm back, "There were no ORDERS given so who the FUCK am I betraying?!"

He pointed over to Joan, who Jacob was trying to soothe but she kept pulling away, "I was saving Joan, a INNOCENT, from these MONSTERS. I was not jeopardizing ANYTHING!"

Chase felt his anger overtake his senses almost completely, 'Damn, asshole. Pretends to be my father, my superior. He always brings out the worst in me...'

Guest

Adam took in a deep breath, using all his strength not to punch the arrogant little punk in his face. But his story did seem very likely. He had just been so worried and Chase wasn't always the best one to keep out of trouble.

He turned back to Joan, who was now curled up against Jacob, who was glaring at the lying vampires. He asked quietly, "What did they do to her?"

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:41 pm

Chase explained quietly, growing tired with the entire situation, "Well, it all started tonight when that one," he pointed to the comatose Alice, "Tried to approach me in a club and make me change my ways 'for the better'. Then, she gets all her little friends," he pointed to the rest of the vampire gang, "To try and make me change my ways so she'll stop being a comatose little freak.

"Meanwhile, Joan, who's still under their little spell, comes and stops me from finishing them off and the little one accuses her of betraying them and 'oh how could you? I thought we were best friends'.

"So, I tell Joan that she's done NOTHING wrong and that they're the ones who betrayed her by manipulating her for their own needs and desires and caused her so much emotional turmoil. She obviously can't decide so she had a mental breakdown."

Chase sighed, running his hand over his face before asking, "Now, will you help me finish them off?"

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:33 pm

At this explanation, Alice propped herself up on her elbows, glaring at Chase, "Damn asswipe. I was not trying to get you to change your ways for the better. Joan was- is? I don't know anymore- my best friend. I love her more than anyone else, so naturally, her betrayal stung me. But you wouldn't know that feeling, would you? I doubt you even have friends, you're so obsessed with offing us. That definitely gets the girls to love you," she rolled her eyes.

"And I wasn't there to get you to change, sweetheart. I was there to tell you that..." she drew a breath shakily, "Specter...my vision....we're destined for each other. It wasn't Jasper in my first vision at all, it was you."

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:41 pm

Chase stared at the vampire, who was magically conscious and who was now spouting even more crap than ever. He shook his head, chuckling a bit manically, "Are you kidding me? Destiny? Really? That's your best excuse?"

He ran his hand over his face and stared up at the sky, cursing the stars, 'Thanks a bunch, assholes!' He told her sternly, "And I do have friends. And I do love them. I know what love is.

"Do you think I was such a heartless bastard that when my sisters cried, I just moved on? No, I was broken inside! Fucking broken! You can't even imagine pain like that!

"It's almost as bad as watching her," he pointed over to Joan, who was now listening intently to the conversation, "Joan, someone I LOVE, being manipulated and tortured mentally to the point where all she can do is fucking cry! FUCKING CRY!"

Chase pushed the little vampire down with his foot and asked her bitter sweetly, "Here's destiny for you. We are destined for each other, right? I'm DESTINED to kill YOU."

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:00 pm

Alice gazed at the hunter evenly, "Don't you know how torturedI feel listening to Joan, I who have known her longer and better than you ever could? It's KILLING me more than this poison! It's all your fault she's broken! She'd be happy now, if you-" she pointed accusingly at Adam, "Hadn't decided to stick your goddamn nose where it doesn't belong! But no, you just HAD to come here to kill us! And yeah, you get to kill us, but my Joanie is SCARRED by this! I swear to God, if you don't treat her well once I've died, I will reincarnate into Chuck Norris and kick your human ass for all eternity!"

"Chase, I love you, even though you're going to kill me," she rolled out from underneath his foot and continued to watch him intently, ignoring all else.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:21 pm

Chase finally felt something inside him snap. Anger? Insanity? It didn't matter now. He was ready to kill. He kicked the little vampire hard enough that she flew into the wall and crashed through, showering bricks over her unconscious friends.

But there was no sound, only blood was pounding through his ears. He had taken out two larges stakes and ran towards the opening in the wall, ready to finish off the damn vampire once and for all.

Suddenly, he was tackled to the ground and held there. He whipped his head up to see if it was Adam, who he would choke for holding him back.

But instead, it was Joan, tear streaked but looked so wise and beautiful in this light. She was trembling still as she hovered over him, holding his wrists weakly to the ground.

That's when he noticed a silver gleam out of the corner of his eye. One of the stakes was sticking out of Joan's side. He immediately sat them both up, cradling her in his lap as he told her softly, "Hold still. Please, hold still."

She only nodded as he gripped the stake carefully. He instructed her, "Take a deep breath."

The redhead did, clutching at his shoulders for support when he yanked the stake out of her side and threw it away. She collapsed against his chest, panting heavily. He patted down her hair and said, feeling tears prickle at the corner of his eyes, "Oh God... Please, hold on."

"Attends, s'il te plaît! Attends! Kate, merde! S'il te plaît!" He screamed as chaos ran around him. The buildings were on fire, the streets were covered in dead corpses and the dead corpses who could move were laughing manically or trying to attack the others.

But all he cared about was her. The pale-faced, redheaded older sister, who was his best friend since they were the closest in age difference.

"Keegan..." Kate whispered softly, her voice as light and carefree as it always had been. She didn't seem to notice that she had two big open wounds on her side and near her neck. Her green eyes sparkled up at him as she whispered one last time, "Mon frère... Mon amour..."

"No, Kate... No, no NO!" Reid screamed at the top of his lungs, clutching Joan tight to his chest, feeling grief and sorrow take over where anger and vengeance had been.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:42 pm

Alice flew through the wall, dazed. 'Is it bad that, as I'm about to die by my love's hand, Hilary Duff gets stuck in my head? Oh, well...' she braced herself for the death blow sure to come, but only saw Joan holding him back. She closed her eyes, trying hard to die peacefully. 'Oh, screw this! I'll just, um, pluck these thingamabobbers out!' her fingers fluttered to her neck, where the pain was most intense. She frowned in confusion as she felt around for the stake.

"Alice, drop your hand from your neck. Don't touch," Carlisle was suddenly at her side.

"How...? Hunters..." she gestured feebly.

"I crept in through the front door of this building," he whispered, hoping to not attract attention. "I'm here to save you, just sit tight."

"Mmnnn...alright," Alice said weakly as he saw the needle stake in her neck and pulled it out with ease, being careful not to break it off in her. "Where else did he get you?"

"Two in the arms, two in the legs," she explained.

"Ah," he said as he examined her arms, pulling out the needles. "Why, Alice? Surely you must have seen this."

"I love him," she muttered in response, feeling marginally better.

Carlisle then proceeded to coax the needles out of her legs and sighed, "You got heart, I'll give you that. And some hell of a nerve. But risking your life? It was unneeded.

"Now drink this," he handed her a flask.

"What is it?" she asked suspiciously.

"Deer blood, I brought it with me just in case Jasper died and you needed a pick me up, and I knew that deer were your favorite. I should have gotten human blood...it would have made you stronger, but only marginally," he explained.

"Thanks Carlisle," she smiled as she took the flask and drank from it.

"How're you feeling?" he asked after a few moments.

"Like I'm fifty again," Alice grinned.

"Good, now distract them as I attend to the others," Carlisle ordered.

"No, the other hunter will see you and stop you with the needles," Alice warned. "Stay back."

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:51 pm

Joan flinched as Chase pulled her tighter to him, trying to suppress sobs. He kept calling her Kate. 'Kate, Kate... Who is Kate?' She thought apprehensively when she noticed he was trembling as much as she had been earlier.

Joan put her hand on his face, drawing his attention and his bright blue eyes filled to the brim with tears towards her. She told him softly, "Chase, I'm not dying. I'm not. I promise. I'm just bleeding... a lot."

He nodded but still held her tight to him, causing her to flinch in pain again. This time, however, he did notice and he stood up suddenly, swinging her up into his arms bridal style. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, startled by the sudden movement.

Chase snapped his fingers and suddenly, there was a cloud of smoke that surrounded them. 'What?' was all she could think. And then, they were moving again. However, they were on top of a roof overlooking the dimly lit city.

The stars were shining so brightly up above but Joan was too scared to notice, still wondering how they got up here. He snapped his fingers as they reached the end of the rooftop and there was another cloud of smoke.

He moved again, this time in front of the hotel that he and Adam were staying at. He slowed down a bit, putting her down next to him gently. She took a step forward and swayed.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:57 pm

Chase caught the swaying redhead by the shoulders and held her up with an arm around her waist. He shrugged off his jacket, wrapping it around her as he whispered, "Cover up the blood."

She only nodded numbly, buttoning up the over-sized jacket as they walked into the hotel. They were greeted by the lobby manager as they made their way over to the elevator. Chase felt exuberantly exhausted. He was barely standing up straight himself. 'But I have to make sure Joan is okay and all right and God, Kate...'

They stepped into the elevator and Chase pressed number 3. Thankfully, they got the elevator to themselves so Chase began to sob again, unable to contain himself. 'I shouldn't have been a brat. I didn't need chocolate that late at night. I should've made her stay with me and play and...'

Suddenly, he felt arms wrap around him tightly. Chase looked down to see Joan hugging him tightly, rubbing his back soothingly. It only made Chase want to cry even more, 'I miss her. I miss her every day. I never... This is not what I want. This isn't what I want at all!'

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 5:08 pm

The elevator stopped and opened. Joan led the broken Chase out, feeling her heart twist a bit. "Please," she pleaded with him softly, "Chase, please." She reached up to wipe away his tears, ignoring the pain in her side momentarily.

'Look at me! Look at me and let me know you'll be all right!' She mentally screamed at him, feeling herself want to tear up as well. But she remained strong and led him down the hall silently.

Chase stopped her in front of room 317, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out the card. He took a deep breath and sighed, his sobs subsiding. He placed his arm over the door, over Joan's head and leaned on her shoulder, tired. 'That makes two of us, buddy.'

Joan slipped the key out of his hand and somehow managed to slide it into the lock. She carefully pulled his arm down and told him softly, "It'll be all right, I promise. Trust me?"

She searched his clouded, blue eyes for some meaning, some sort of explanation. But really, she was looking for the old Chase. 'Please, crack a joke. Say something sexual! Please, Chase.'

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 5:17 pm

Alice sat beside Jasper as Carlisle stayed in the shadows. "Jasper...how're you doing, love?"

Jasper laughed bitterly at the term of endearment, "Don't pretend like I didn't hear all of that. Isn't it better I died so you can move on to him?"

"Don't say things like that!" she wailed unhappily. "I love you, really I do, it's just that..."

"You're confused," he stated calmly. "You're confused over the vision, and my affair, and Joan's betrayal, right?"

Alice nodded, "It hurt, Jazz."

"Speaking of hurt, how are you not in writhing agony, my dear?" he inquired.

Alice leaned over Jasper and whispered in his ear, "Carlisle's in the building next to us, when I crashed through, he was just about to save us."

"Why isn't he out here?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Because of the hunter, we don't need our doctor to be hurt," she said as her fingers slipped down to Jasper's right leg, pulling out the needle stake gently. She had issues with the next stake she found, so she got out her tweezers and pulled it out with them. She continued in a similar fashion, carefully examining each point to make sure the needle hadn't broken off in him.

"Thanks," Jasper muttered once she finished.

"Anytime," Alice smiled. "See? I wont let you die."

"That's great, but what about the rest of us, Shorty?" Garrett said rather loudly.

Alice sighed and looked down at Jasper and kissed his cheek, "I'll be back."

She walked over to Garrett and swiftly pulled out the needle stakes, taking care not to break them off.

"Thanks, Alice," he smiled once the poisonous sticks were out of his arms.

"Yeah, yeah," she mocked him as she approached Edward. "Eddy? Thanks for seeing Specter tonight, but you didn't have to.."

"NOW SHE TELLS US!" Garrett roared as he lunged at Alice, pissed.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 5:18 pm

Chase snapped out of his grief ridden trance at the warm, pleading voice of Joan; "It'll be all right, I promise. Trust me?"

'Kate, Kate I love you. I can't let go of you. But please, I need to help Joan. I need her to help me. I need her like I needed her. Please, let go of me,' he pleaded internally, feeling his thoughts and emotions fight inside of him. He took a deep breath and suddenly, he felt relaxed, decided.

"Always," Chase responded with a small smile, taking Joan's hand and leading her inside. He sat her on the bed and instructed her, "Wait here."

He walked into the bathroom and pulled a hand towel off of the rack. He ran it under warm water, rung it out, and grabbed a big, dry towel and the trash bucket.

When he came back out, he saw the Joan had taken off his coat and hers along with her shirt so she was just left in a see through tank top and her bra. She turned back to him and smiled weakly, her hands holding her bleeding side.

Chase placed the bucket next to her on the bed and asked her to turn to face him as he crouched down in front of her. He placed the big towel next to her and instructed her, "I have to get the poison out of you. It isn't deadly unless it sits for a while in your bloodstream. Right now, you're probably feeling pain in your stomach. Just suck in a breath and try not to throw up on me while I do this."

She nodded meekly, watching him carefully as he bent his face down to her side. Gingerly placing his fingers around the wound, he pressed his mouth to her wound and began to suck out the poison. Occasionally, he would turn to spit into the bucket but other than that, there was no noise in the room.

Once he was done, Chase pressed the warm towel to her now cleaned wound and held it for a couple minutes.

He was startled when he felt something press against his cheek. He looked up to see Joan slightly smiling. She moved her thumb and forefinger across his lips, wiping away any trace of blood that was left.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 5:21 pm

"Thanks," Joan whispered softly, wiping her fingers clean on the towel. 'For a moment, he could've passed for a vampire.' She shook her head, combing his hair back absentmindedly. 'He seems all right... But...'

"Who is Kate?" she asked quietly, watching him to make sure she hadn't said the wrong thing.

Guest

Adam had long since left the alley, after Joan dove for Chase as he was about to tackle Alice to death. Jacob had led him towards the truck, saying, "Another day, Adam. We'll get them. We've got time. They're not going anywhere. And even if they are, they're not making it far."

Adam nodded once and instructed him, "Let's go back and review our plans, just in case."

Jacob agreed and they climbed into the car. He revved up the engine and put the car in drive. He asked as they drove out of the city, "Do you think she'll be okay?"

Adam shrugged, not quite knowing himself. But he trusted Chase to do what was right. 'When the hell did that start happening?' he shook his head, 'Maybe, I've misunderstood him. I thought he was a brat, an immature kid.

'But he really knows what he's doing and I've underestimated him. I trust him to do the right thing. Hopefully, he won't get into any trouble because of it... But I'm not holding my breath.'

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Tue Jun 09, 2009 5:35 pm

"Don't hurt me!" Alice ran away from Garrett.

"Goddammit Shorty, we risk our lives for you, and you say it WASN'T NEEDED?" he growled menacingly.

"OI! QUIT YOUR LOVE AFFAIR AND FIX ME!" Edward bellowed, motioning to the thin stakes sticking out of his stomach.

"Fine, fine," Alice agreed as she bent over him, removing the stakes one by one slowly.

"Where'd he go?" she asked Edward softly.

"His room with Joan," he smirked as her features grew livid.

"No!"

"Yeah, well, I heard it in his thoughts..." Edward shrugged, then started humming "It Sucks To Be Me" from Avenue Q. "It sucks to be you, man."

"It sucks to be me," Alice sang a bit of the song with Edward. "And you, Edward. That's your EX in there with him."

Edward frowned, "Right...damn."

"We're so fucked up," Alice sighed unhappily. She got up and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Edward demanded.

"Away," she replied gloomily, thinking of the future.

"You're not walking away from this!" Edward grabbed her arm. "You will stay with us and we'll talk this out rationally."

Jasper nodded in agreement, crossing over to the two quarreling vamps. "At least talk to me, Alice. We're best friends, we talk about everything. Except this, we haven't."

"I'm sorry, but I can't," Alice sobbed.

"Come on, walk with me," Jasper led her away from the crowd, walking towards the forest at the edge of town.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:43 pm

Chase watched her with a soft look on his face, hoping that he'd find Kate in Joan somehow. They had the same hair, the same curves, the same smile. 'Maybe it's the eyes that's throwing me off,' Chase chuckled lightly to himself as he leaned into Joan's gentle touch.

He started softly, saying, "Kate was my older sister, the youngest out of the four of them. Lily. Diana, Margot, and Kate. Kate was the only in our family who inherited Dad's red hair. We all got mom's blond so we used to tease her and call her 'Rousse Solitaire '.

"But..." he paused momentarily, feeling tears coming in his eyes. He took a deep breath and tried not to choke, "She was the closest thing I ever had to love. Di was always so vain and lavish, Lily was so ditsy and Margot was out every night with a different guy, a trait I've picked up from her."

Joan chuckled lightly, which caused him to grin.

Chase continued, "Kate was so funny and sweet and caring. She always opted to be with me than to be with the rest of my sisters. We were partners in crime. Not to say I wasn't close to the rest of my sisters, but she... She and I had this sort of bond. Still do..."

He took another deep breath, "After the massacre..." He paused, feeling some tears pour down his face. Joan's hand was soft and warm, wiping his tears away and holding his head with both hands in comfort. He continued, "I just... didn't... I couldn't... I felt like... I was lost without her.

"I left... Everything I knew and went to go live in San Francisco... I picked up magic because I needed something to get my mind off of her..." He snapped his fingers and out of the smoke a red rose appeared.

Joan gasped in surprise at the display, still a little unused to Chase's sudden tricks. But she let him comb it into her hair as he finished his story, "And then, the Council found me and told me that it was vampires that killed my sisters. I got back at them, sure.

"But then I realized that in that moment when my sisters were killed, I felt such a immense pain in my heart, like someone had just taken a sword and stabbed it through and just left it there. And I never wanted anyone to feel like that.

"Not any innocents or comrades... Not you," Chase met her gaze head on and whispered softly, "You look almost like Kate. Except your personalities are so distinct and... your eyes are brown."

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:50 pm

Joan felt her heart fall at Chase's tragically morbid tale and the loss of his sisters, 'I could never handle that... I don't even have sisters but just the thought alone...' She shook her head and pulled his face closer, trying to bring him some form of comfort.

She said gently, giving a faint smile, "I'll wear green contacts just for you." Her heart warmed when she saw that familiar grin of his creep across his face. He leaned forward, their faces now impossibly close and Joan felt her heart race at the intimate proximity.

Suddenly, there was a sharp stab of pain in her side and she took a sharp intake of breath, which startled him out of his trance. His hand were instantly at her side, pushing the towel on the wound so the pressure would slow the bleeding.

She took in deep breaths, feeling her face flushed with embarrassment and excitement, 'He was about to kiss me! Oh my god, and I would've let him too! I only just broke up with Victor, I can't use Chase as a rebound boyfriend... He might just use me as a comforting one night stand too... He did just say I remind him of his sister. Ouch.

'I swear, I promise to myself I will not engage in any sort of romantic activity as soon as I am certain I do have actual feelings for Chase and Chase alone.'

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:08 pm

"So," Jasper was uneasy about this conversation.

"Maria," Alice replied curtly. "Explain. Now."

"Well, it threw me off how she knew to find me, and the memories, and oh God, what did I do?" Jasper asked himself aloud.

"What did you do? You hurt me, you made me feel insignificant to MARIA, and you didn't have the DECENCY to tell me! I had to learn in advance in a damn VISION!" Alice roared, revealing the vampire tendencies in her. "Don't you dare tell me I could have stopped you, 'cause I couldn't have!"

"I know, and I'm really sorry," he sighed. "How do you think I've felt, living with this guilt? I love you, and I'd never want to hurt you, but....it was stupid of me. You have every right to go after that hunter."

"It won't work, he hates me," she replied sadly. "All because of what I am...it sucks. And he's probably hooking up with Joan as we talk."

"Why go after him? Because he's dangerous? Because you want to change him?"

"No....because...I think I love him," Alice looked away unhappily. "But I love you too."

"Again with the confusion," Jasper said calmly. "Alice, just relax! It'll turn out all right in the end."

"That's what they told Dracula," she shot back.

"He was evil, you're not, it will turn out fine," he asserted. "Trust me. Just forget about him, please? Can we just go back to the way things were?"

Alice closed her eyes in thought. "I don't know...I think all the sparkle's gone," she smiled teasingly.

"Then there's only one thing left to bring back the sparkle," Jasper replied gravely as he knelt to the ground, taking one of Alice's hands in both of his. "Miss Alice Cullen, will you marry me...again?"

"Alice, I know we've only known each for a short while, but there's something I want to ask you," he asked her as they walked through the forest hand-in-hand.

"What, Jasper?" she asked knowingly.

"You already know. Dammit! Well, anyway," he knelt to the ground, pulling out a plain gold band, "Miss Alice, will you marry me?"

"Yes," she smiled as he slid the ring onto her finger and stood up.

"Well, looks like we have a wedding to plan," he drawled in his Southern accent...

"Looks like we have a wedding to plan...again," Jasper smiled at Alice happily.

"Yep, I can't wait to tell Joanie and Esme!" she gushed. "Let's go home and plan!"

"Alright," he agreed as she pulled him to her car in front of the now deserted alleyway, as all the other vampires went back to the Cullen Mansion already.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:47 pm

Emmett returned to the Cullen house after a day of working out in the forest, and was greeted by an anxious Esme, a weary Edward and Garrett, and a composed Carlisle. "What happened?"

"Hunters....staked us," Edward moaned.

"You went to fight the hunters without me?" Emmett's eyes widened.

"No, let me explain," Carlisle cut in, "Alice had a vision that her and the blond one were meant to be, he tells her how much he hates her, she goes comatose, these two," he motioned towards the vampires resting, "along with Jasper, decide to go on a field trip to make him 'fix' her, he stakes them, Alice shows up, she gets staked, then the hunter nearly killed her, but Joan saved her. Again."

"Jeez, cool shit ALWAYS happens when I'm gone!" he frowned. "Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"They went to talk," Edward muttered as the front door opened, and Alice and Jasper walked in, smiling hugely.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:07 pm

"Everyone, guess what?" Alice called out as she entered the house.

"What, dear?" Esme asked.

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!" Alice and Jasper screamed in unison.

"Aren't you already married?" Rosalie walked into the living room, after being up in her room all day, looking for flaws in her beauty.

"We could ask you the same question," Alice shot back, smirking. "Haven't you and Emmett married what, fifteen times now?"

"Only fourteen," Rosalie replied. "But why you two?"

"Just for the hell of it," Jasper grinned.

"Congratulations," Carlisle smiled. "When's the joyous occasion?"

Jasper and Alice exchanged a glance, "Think you can plan a wedding in a week?"

"Oh yes," Alice replied. "How's next Friday for everyone?"

Everyone nodded in assent.

"We're gonna PARTY LIKE IT'S 1776!" Garrett yelled happily.

"Bachelor party?" Edward looked at Jasper hopefully.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes.

"Then we'll give Alice a bachelorette party," Rosalie countered. "Wanna help, Esme? I'll get Joan to help, too."

"Sure," Esme smiled.

Subject: Re: Divorcing Jasper Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:21 pm

"Let's go chill in my room," Edward stiffly got up and stretched, leading Carlisle, Garrett, and Emmett to his room. He closed the door carefully behind him. "Ideas?"

"Strippers," Emmett and Garrett said in unison as Carlisle cringed at the thought.

"How about DDR?" Carlisle suggested. "Or a Wii party?"

"No, we're going to a bar or something," Emmett said.

"Alice would kill us," Carlisle reminded him. "Let's just play DDR and watch horror movies."

"That's so lame," Garrett snorted. "Who cares about Alice?"

Edward looked at Garret warningly, "She's a terrifying little monster. Do. Not. Upset. Alice. EVER."

"Fine, fine," Garrett backed off.

"So, a bar it is," Emmett stated.

"Yes," Edward said. "A karaoke bar."

"YES!" Emmett cheered.

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